It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
