When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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