i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
