I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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