So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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