I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
