no, he came in my armpit
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
