that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
