mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
