What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This baby is an asshole
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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