i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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