i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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