You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
