therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
