it wasn't lemon gatorade
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
