her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
