If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
