What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
