proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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