Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
