Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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