The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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