If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
