shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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