She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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