i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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