Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
