the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
