guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
