eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
