he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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