just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
