Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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