i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
