guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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