the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
