My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
