Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
