omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
