Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I stole a fireplace last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
