i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
