Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
