i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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