Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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