Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
