he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
