I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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