Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
