bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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