So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
