I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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